What a fascinating programme on TV this evening - "Sport Relief Does The Apprentice". Two teams - a male team including Kelvin McKenzie, Phil Tufnell, Lembit Opik MP, Nick Hancock and Hardeep Singh Kohli versus a female team led by Jacqueline Gold, and including Kirstie Allsop, Louise Redknapp, Lisa Snowden and Clare Balding.
Their task? To create two "pop up shops" with central London locations, the teams had to persuade other outlets to donate their stock, then to persuade their rich and famous friends to pay for admission tickets and buy their stock for as much money as possible.
The teams stocked their shops, sold their tickets and began to sell the merchandise. The girls far outsold the boys, but at a certain point Formula One supremo Bernie Ecclestone turned up, invited by his daughter Tamara.
The offer he made to the boys was to double whatever sum they raised from selling stock. The next clip was of Lembit Opik MP saying to Mr Ecclestone "If you ever need anything - as long as it's within the law - I'm your man".
With the boys making a total of £316,000 and the girls pipping them to the post at £412,000 the real winner was Sport Aid.
Why did you need to say that though, Mr Opik?